Happy birthday to you too, Nana!

Anyone remember "Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man"??





I'm not going to tell you how to use your cell phone, but I am going to share some personal views. Full disclosure here: I am terrible with cell phones. I always leave my phone at home. Or I leave it in a trashy hotel on the LIE. Or accidentally pour Powerade on it. Or its on silent and I never hear your call. My friends really like that one. And forget about blackberries - it was a dark day for tech support when my blackberry and a bottle of diet 7-up met up in a dark alley, er, my purse.

And then there is text messaging. It has gone too far. I think it is useful for a situation where you're in a loud place (or a quiet place?) and can't talk on the phone. Send a text to tell your friend that you're at the bar next to the large man from New Jersey who has a plate of sausage. That is useful. Or, that you're in a movie theater and can't talk. Or if you don't want to talk to someone and get into a whole conversation but you just saw something funny (or someone famous), send a text!

DO not use text messages to share LIFE CHANGING NEWS.

I have now had at least three people (all dudes, also, does that make a difference?) send me text messages in a "text conversation" about life-altering events. One guy told me about how one of his parents died and his friend was assaulted. Uh, ok, I was just seeing if you wanted to get a drink later and now I feel like a huge inconsiderate dope. Another guy sends me a text message on a Saturday night that he's not feeling like going out because he just found out his friend died in a kayaking accident. Uh, ok. And most recently, as a response to a text I sent about a party, I received a text two days later that said, "Sorry I didnt go, my brother was in the hospital." Great. Now I feel like an idiot for inviting you to a party!

People. If your only relationship with someone is via text message, then its probably unnecessary to share these things at all. You're not close. It is awkward. AWKWARD. Just don't write back. Write a fib. Don't get into the details, we're not that close. And then when you text me something awkward, I'm going to have to call you so I don't look inconsiderate and you're going to ignore my call because we're only text friends anyways, not VOICE friends. I don't want to be unthoughtful, but it is a really difficult situation to get a text like that when you don't know the person that well!

To summarize:
- Texting should only be for flirting / meeting up; it is not a means to sustain an actual friendship/relationship
- Use the phone or even (gasp!) email to share big news that is not celebreality related
- If you're talking on your phone on the bus, expect that I'm listening, and secretly laughing at you
- Dear people who leave their cellphone on high-volume ringer at work and then go away from their desks all day long: I HATE YOU. And I hate your stupid ringtones.

Now enough of this diatribe - stop surfing the internet and get out there and VOTE!