JOoMBO JOoMBO! Bork Bork Bork!

It was recently brought to my attention that there is a crazy African-chant inspired interlude in everyone's favorite song, "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie. Now it seems to me that everyone always sings along when the song is on, but I bet $5 that you never understood what they were saying. Mystery revealed!

(Chant)
Tom bo li de say de moi ya
Yeah, Jambo Jumbo
Way to parti' o we goin'
Oh, jambali
Tom bo li de say de moi ya
Yeah, JUMBO JUMBO!

Uh, what language is this? Was Lionel Richie smoking the crack when he came up with it? I assume it was he who wrote it....if not, was he on crack when he saw it on his music sheet and thought it was a great idea to put on his latest album?

Just to be HILARIOUS I went online and translated the above passage into "Swedish Chef" dialogue. Interestingly enough, it is about the same:
(Chunt) Tum bu lee de-a sey de-a muee ya
Yeeh, Jembu Joombu
Vey tu pertee' oo ve-a gueen'
Ooh, jembelee
Tum bu lee de-a sey de-a muee ya
Yeeh, JOoMBO JOoMBO! Bork Bork Bork!

Um, I kind of love it.

To translate your next blog entry to swedish chef (or Jive, which is one of my favorites), please see:
http://www.cs.utexas.edu/~jbc/home/chef.html

For more lyrics from the song All night Long, please see: (We're going to Parti' Liming, Fiesta, forever)
http://www.mp3lyrics.org/l/lionel-richie/all-night-long/

To be honest, my favorite song by Lionel Richie is actually "Hello"....but it doesn't have any chanting.

Where is my mind?

I think the Pixies said it best when they sang:
"With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But theres nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind?"

I'm not exactly sure where my mind is. I seem to have lost it this weekend courtesy of a little beverage called (wait for it) a Mind Eraser. It seems so obvious, yet it still sneaks up on you. You don't chug it, you drink it through a straw (the winning time was 6 seconds from start to finish), it tastes a little like a milkshake, but it packs a deadly punch. Especially in quick succession.

You should probably just try it on your own. The only place I've had them in the city are Down the Hatch and Tom & Jerry's, but if you just carry the recipe around with you, it is all on-hand bar ingredients.

Just remember, DO NOT STIR IT. It is not shaken or stirred. It is sucked up through the straw from the bottom up. NO STIRRING. Resist!

Urban Dictionary has the defined the Mind Eraser as such:
"A bar drink consisting of equal parts vodka, Kahlua, and either tonic water or club soda poured into a rocks glass in the order listed and served with a straw. The liquids stay semi-separated because of the differences in the specific gravity of each, and the drink is imbibed quickly through the straw so that the Kahlua chases the vodka and the soda chases the Kahlua. Extremely effective in curing what ails you, hence the name."



Amen, Urban Dictionary, Amen. But does it bother anyone else that the Google ads that come up on Urban Dictionary when you look up the Mind Eraser are all for Eating Disorder treatments? hmmmmm.


Also, one other word of advice. I would, maybe, lay off eating something, like, I don't know, meatloaf, before going ahead with a Mind Eraser. Just a thought. Ouch.

I like M*A*S*H, I want to watch M*A*S*H

Just kidding. I hate M*A*S*H. Someone just told me it was the original "doctor" show. WRONG! It is E.R. Duh!

Check it, people. With the abundance of "doctor" TV shows that haunt my Ti-faux these days, I was glad to finally see the original doctor show get its deserved recognition!

The Times had a whole article yesterday about the comeback of the TV show ER (title: From Life Support to Miraculous Recovery for 'ER'). It has been on for 12 years. I have watched EVERY episode. From Dr. Green's tumultuous divorce, to Doug Ross and nurse Carol getting it on, to Carter's drug addiction following his stabbing, Dr. Benton's deaf bastard baby, Dr. Weaver doesn't have those crutches anymore, Kovac almost died when he was injected with paralytic drugs, Nurse Samantha killed her jailbird husband after he escaped from lock-up and kidnapped her and her kid, Abby had a emergency C-section for her love child with Luka, the list goes on: fires, helicoptor crashes, plane crashes, floods, epidimecs, love, tears, hate. All since 1994.

I thought I was the only person on earth that still watched ER.

But I was wrong. Apparently Bill Carter of the New York Times likes it too.
Amen, brother.

I should get his number. Does he have a MySpace page? Friendster?

Watch it. Love it. And get this, now Uncle Jesse from Full House is the new paramedic,/doctor. HOLLA JOHN STAMOS! Welcome to the best show on earth. And for you haters out there, I don't want to hear about how its only popular again because CBS moved Without A Trace. Yeah, I love Jack and Agents Samantha, Martin, Danny, etc, too. But can they do a central line? NO.

Read it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/12/arts/television/12emer.html

Love it: